One of the best forwards I have come across'..

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a

successful marriage. Could you please share with me our secret?” The

father-in-law

answered in a smile, “Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or

when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her

shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than

you.”

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are

afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he

would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is

the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one

finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and

requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable

one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good

looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing

and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my

leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when

I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to

rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you

need television.”

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a

blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the

faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of

the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and

dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the

excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that

marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,

or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer

all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.

Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries

the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than

a person’s character.”

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the

spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our

expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will

either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off

because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,

we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without

considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction

site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,”Hi, Emily!

Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way

home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me.

Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She

answered ,”You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he

will be the millionaire and not you.”

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad

relationship. It’s like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be

another man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On

the way home,a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them ride

on the donkey?”Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on

the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and

commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride

on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife

quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How

can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no

gentleman.”

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you

hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing

that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey

and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the

donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell

into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will

everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will

be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is

clear..

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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of

his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old

son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.

The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands

into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son

to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he

finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the

boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently

said, ” Daddy,I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are

my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home & committed

suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u

wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with

someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings

often can’t. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between

the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is

greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the

actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.